in reality shes right. I'm not good enough. I work at mcdonalds don't go to school and i can't save money. i can totally understand where she is coming from. but i can't understand how she thinks she has the right to make you feel like you did something wrong. She should be happy if you're happy. She should be supporting you in not matter what you do. She should be there to lift you back up when you fall down.... She shouldnt be the one bringing you back down to that dark point in your life. It's not all about her and thats where shes going wrong in her life. she needs to think alittle bit more about the people around her. i've done nothing but try and make her like me do things for her when i didnt have to.

but to attack someone she knows nothing about is wrong. i wish ignorant people would just wake the fuck up and maybe then they would realize that its them that makes the world like it is. with so much hate. i thought she was one of smartest and open minded people i know but apparently i was totally out of line in thinking that.

the only reason i wanted her to know everything because i thought maybe it would help and bridge the gap that was inbetween everyone. so you could be happier knowing that there was someone you loved behind you supporting you along the way. But aparently you were right. we should have left it as is no matter how much it hurt that i had to hide my love when i shouldnt have to.

It's very strange when you realize how much you miss people until you see them. This weekend i left my temporary home in Framingham, Mass. and traveled to my home stead Maine. It was really nice, not only did i get to celebrate another nephew's coming into the world i got to see my dad, step mom, my sister tony and her two kids, my aunts, my uncles... a lot of people. Not everyone but pretty close. I always makes me sad when i have to leave Maine. Exspecially, during this time of year because i love autumn and new england in the fall is definalty something everyone should see at least once in their life. Soon i will be leaving Angie, Juan, Brooke and Beckett. It's going to be a hard thing for me because i'm gonna miss my little boogers (aka my niece and nephew). Then back to Michigan ha...

Fall just reminds me of a time that seems very far away. It's very hard when you stop and think about everything. What once was, what has happend and, how things now are. Very strange and surreal. But, i have learned the hard way not to dwell on things. haha let me tell you something. it doesn't get you anyyywhere. It just gets you paranoid. Paranoid soon looks like crazy and crazy soon becomes alone. Alone becomes lost. Then where are you Huh? Paranoid,crazy, alone, and lost..not a good place to be let me tell you it scares people away real fast. In the end you can't blame anyone but yourself. Annnnywho enough of that.




..............................................................................

So i've been in Massachusetts hangin with the fam. My sister had a beautiful baby boy name Beckett Grant Alexander, he's amazing. I'm here as a nannyfor my niece Brooke Taylor. She's my little homie. I've watched more Barney, Elmo, The Wiggles, and Nemo than ever before. Lol she's learned some of my bad habbits such as, cleaning dvd/cds my your tounge, whipping my hands on my pants when they are dirty AND she almost said the word titties but i saved that by saying yes KITTIES. My sister thought that was funny. None-the-less i'm having fun.

lame.

"and i wonder if everything i do
i do instead
of something i want to do more
the question fills my head
i know that there's no grand plan here
this is just the way it goes
and when everything else seems unclear
i guess at least i know

i do it for the joy it brings..."

.........................................................................................
you just get to the point were you know you need something more.
something new
something better
and you feel like you're just stuck in this bit of space thats perfectly inbetween everything and nothing.
stuck
.........................................................................................
you come home tomorrow, i'll be here with open arms.

"Come gather 'round people
Wherever you roam
And admit that the waters
Around you have grown
And accept it that soon
You'll be drenched to the bone.
If your time to you
Is worth savin'
Then you better start swimmin'
Or you'll sink like a stone
For the times they are a-changin'..."

-Bob Dylan-

There is no combination of words I could put on the back of a postcard
And no song that I could sing but I can try for your heart
And our dreams and they are made out of real things
Like a shoebox of photographs with sepia-toned loving
Love is the answer at least for most of the questions in my heart
Like why are we here? And where do we go? And how come it’s so hard?
It’s not always easy and sometimes life can be deceiving
I’ll tell you one thing, it’s always better when we’re together

It’s always better when we’re together
We’ll look at the stars when we’re together
It’s always better when we’re together

And all of these moments just might find their way into my dreams tonight
But I know that they’ll be gone when the morning light sings
Or brings new things for tomorrow night you see
That they’ll be gone too, too many things I have to do
But if all of these dreams might find their way into my day to day scene
I’d be under the impression I was somewhere in between
With only two, just me and you, not so many things we got to do
Or places we got to be we’ll sit beneath the mango tree now

It’s always better when we’re together
We’re somewhere in between together
Well it’s always better when we’re together
It’s always better when we’re together

I believe in memories they look so pretty when I sleep
And when I wake up you look so pretty sleeping next to me
But there is not enough time
And there is no song I could sing
And there is no combination of words I could say
But I will still tell you one thing
We’re better together
-jack johnson-

Julllly is coming and it's pack with a whole bunch of shit. Trisha and i are going to Maine the 7th through the 14th coming back the DAY before my 21st b-day. The weekend after that will be my birthday party which should be sweet. Thhhhen Trisha, Kayla, Redonna, and i are on our way to WEMF the 21st and the 22nd. This month should prove to be very exciting.

To say the least i'm very happy.

soooo demf was awesome had a blast thanks to trisha and kayla. My travisourous is a poop head. He's just mad cause he doesn't have any front claws and his balls are gone. he lost his mmman hood, his man kitty mojo he lost it. Annnyway, Summer should be interesting.

50/50 odds were in my favor, come to find out everyone has their secrets ;)

"because the world owes me nothing
and we owe each other the world
i do it because it's the least i can do
i do it because i learned it from you..."